In my dreams I'm dying all the time
As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to lie
So this is goodbye
This is goodbye
Tell the truth you never wanted me
Tell me
In my dreams I'm jealous all the time
As I wake I'm going out of my mind
Going out of my mind
zondag 10 augustus 2008
woensdag 9 januari 2008
The trends
Get a child...and dump it
Buy a house...and dump it
Get a dog...and dump it
Rent a house...and dump it
Get a second dog...and dump it
Buy a car...and dump it
Use your family...and dump them
Betray your friends...and dump them
Cherish your partner...and cheat on her
Buy a house...and dump it
Get a dog...and dump it
Rent a house...and dump it
Get a second dog...and dump it
Buy a car...and dump it
Use your family...and dump them
Betray your friends...and dump them
Cherish your partner...and cheat on her
woensdag 31 oktober 2007
Daydreaming...
Today, Wednesday the 31st, it's my last day at work before taking a big vacation. Not that I needed one already, since I only just started working, and even then the word working is a bit of an overstatement. But anyway, today is the last day before my 11-day-long holiday, which I'm using to visit one of the prettiest cities in the world, Rome. For the last three weeks the idea of migrating to another country seemed more and more appealing so this trip is like a gift from heaven. I just can't wait to get on that plane and forget all of the stupid stuff that happened. Although I am supposed to work today, I just can't focus at the task at hand. I keep on dreaming about shopping, eating and the culture in Rome, not to mention the beautiful men which I will be inspecting thoroughly.
dinsdag 30 oktober 2007
How the u-word can change your life...
There comes a day in every one's life when you have to stay calm, breathe and just...reboot.Today is one of those days. After being harassed and stalked for about 3 weeks, today's the day I'm over it, I'm above it and I'm beyond it. But first, let me tell you a little story about the last 3 weeks...
It was a Saturday, just an ordinary Saturday. There were some concerts and my friends met at our place to go together. So we arrived peacefully at the scene, only to see another one of our friends and his girlfriend, whom has never liked us and vice versa, or maybe not so much 'never liked' but more a 'never cared' feeling. So anyway, there we are, enjoying ourselves, laughing and acting foolish like always. The girlfriend is standing with her mother-in-law, not really a cool sight but hey, if she doesn't wanna come over to say hi, not our problem.
Before I continue this fascinating story, there's a little detail you must know about me. I have strong opinions about everything and am not afraid to say them. Until present time, I think I've referred to about 98% of the population as being ugly. Now that you know this, let me carry on...That particular night I was stupid enough to refer to the girlfriend as being ugly. No one really cared about this or paid any attention to this as this is my lifestyle. Not the smartest move in my life so far, but any one who knows me well should be able to see this in perspective. But my dear readers, there are spies and squealers in this world...About 9 days after this event, this girlfriend heard about my terrific statement. What would a normal 23-year-old do when she hears this? Understandably, she wouldn't be happy. But who would think she would send an angry email demanding an explanation? This reminds me of some preschool situations. At first I was too surprised about this mail, which was full of frustrations and I didn't really knew what to do with it. But nothing puts things in perspective like a long call to my mother. She advised me to answer in a calm and rational way, explaining under what circumstances I used the U-word and separating the truth from gossip. I followed her advice and sent a mail back. Only seconds later I received a second mail, again full of hate and frustrations and lies. Seems that she believed the gossip (like me calling her stupid) rather than me and wanted to know what I had against her for the last year. No use in speaking to walls, I left this mail unanswered. The fact is I have nothing against that girl, I just don't care as I said earlier. She's not the kind of girl I would ever hang out with for several reasons.The next day, still a little worked up about it, I decided to forward the mails to her boyfriend, who was then still a close friend. Alas, he knew all about it and thought his girlfriend was right and that she had a right to know... It seems I was being abnormal and she was the poor victim in all of this. Okay fine, I leave this unanswered too.So, I'm still worked up but have given up trying to explain what really happened. Once again, I make a decision which in retrospective wasn't the best move either. I wrote a blog with a rather offending title. I called the boyfriend a hypocrite, the girlfriend a faking poor victim and some other people liars. Well, this just opened the flood gates. Apparantly, I was arrogant, patronizing, acting like I knew everything and worse than a fascist. After two hours of raging about this to my boyfriend, I was calm enough to reply to this mail, as not replying only make things worse apparently. I asked nice and firmly to cool it. Once again, this worked as oil on fire. Okay, not replying is making things worse, replying calm and rational is making things worse, replying firmly is making things worse. By now it was getting quite obviously that nothing could make it stop or for that matter less worse. Ever since then, it was a game, more people got involved, more comments were left in my inbox, more mails came to me, more and more people were getting annoyed by the whole situation. And just when you think things couldn't get worse, some crazy girl mixed in and hassled me with a pathetic story, only to mail my former friend a completely unbelievably pathetic story about me. Although this girl was famous for stalking the guy, he had no trouble with believing her irrational story even before checking with me what really happened. No, instead I received yet another angry mail about how I could be proud of myself, my pathetic situation and the gossips. The fact that this crazy girl started the gossip didn't matter, the fact that she hassled me as well didn't matter either. By now, every one was so sick and tired of this whole situation it was from now on forbidden to even mention it again, accept for a few supporting people. My dad decided to take matters in his own hands and go and see the famous friend personally. Again, not the smartest move according to me, but hey, knock yourselves out. Arrived on scene, several print-outs were put there, to 'prove' the innocence of the boyfriend and to show how bad I really am. One little detail, in these prints, there was a lot of copy and paste, but even more there were cuts. Email-threads were totally illogic and not chronically put together, so that I would seem the crazy one. Some people may be fooled by it, but not me. I've already got a bad reputation so I just can't win this battle and although I didn't deserve this one, I'm used to situations like this. So I did the only thing there was left to do, I blocked him and his girlfriend permanently from myspace, I blocked the crazy girls as well, I sent a text with the urging message to leave me alone for good. I can only hope it has finally come to an end, so I can close this unfortunate matter, take a deep breath and reboot...
It was a Saturday, just an ordinary Saturday. There were some concerts and my friends met at our place to go together. So we arrived peacefully at the scene, only to see another one of our friends and his girlfriend, whom has never liked us and vice versa, or maybe not so much 'never liked' but more a 'never cared' feeling. So anyway, there we are, enjoying ourselves, laughing and acting foolish like always. The girlfriend is standing with her mother-in-law, not really a cool sight but hey, if she doesn't wanna come over to say hi, not our problem.
Before I continue this fascinating story, there's a little detail you must know about me. I have strong opinions about everything and am not afraid to say them. Until present time, I think I've referred to about 98% of the population as being ugly. Now that you know this, let me carry on...That particular night I was stupid enough to refer to the girlfriend as being ugly. No one really cared about this or paid any attention to this as this is my lifestyle. Not the smartest move in my life so far, but any one who knows me well should be able to see this in perspective. But my dear readers, there are spies and squealers in this world...About 9 days after this event, this girlfriend heard about my terrific statement. What would a normal 23-year-old do when she hears this? Understandably, she wouldn't be happy. But who would think she would send an angry email demanding an explanation? This reminds me of some preschool situations. At first I was too surprised about this mail, which was full of frustrations and I didn't really knew what to do with it. But nothing puts things in perspective like a long call to my mother. She advised me to answer in a calm and rational way, explaining under what circumstances I used the U-word and separating the truth from gossip. I followed her advice and sent a mail back. Only seconds later I received a second mail, again full of hate and frustrations and lies. Seems that she believed the gossip (like me calling her stupid) rather than me and wanted to know what I had against her for the last year. No use in speaking to walls, I left this mail unanswered. The fact is I have nothing against that girl, I just don't care as I said earlier. She's not the kind of girl I would ever hang out with for several reasons.The next day, still a little worked up about it, I decided to forward the mails to her boyfriend, who was then still a close friend. Alas, he knew all about it and thought his girlfriend was right and that she had a right to know... It seems I was being abnormal and she was the poor victim in all of this. Okay fine, I leave this unanswered too.So, I'm still worked up but have given up trying to explain what really happened. Once again, I make a decision which in retrospective wasn't the best move either. I wrote a blog with a rather offending title. I called the boyfriend a hypocrite, the girlfriend a faking poor victim and some other people liars. Well, this just opened the flood gates. Apparantly, I was arrogant, patronizing, acting like I knew everything and worse than a fascist. After two hours of raging about this to my boyfriend, I was calm enough to reply to this mail, as not replying only make things worse apparently. I asked nice and firmly to cool it. Once again, this worked as oil on fire. Okay, not replying is making things worse, replying calm and rational is making things worse, replying firmly is making things worse. By now it was getting quite obviously that nothing could make it stop or for that matter less worse. Ever since then, it was a game, more people got involved, more comments were left in my inbox, more mails came to me, more and more people were getting annoyed by the whole situation. And just when you think things couldn't get worse, some crazy girl mixed in and hassled me with a pathetic story, only to mail my former friend a completely unbelievably pathetic story about me. Although this girl was famous for stalking the guy, he had no trouble with believing her irrational story even before checking with me what really happened. No, instead I received yet another angry mail about how I could be proud of myself, my pathetic situation and the gossips. The fact that this crazy girl started the gossip didn't matter, the fact that she hassled me as well didn't matter either. By now, every one was so sick and tired of this whole situation it was from now on forbidden to even mention it again, accept for a few supporting people. My dad decided to take matters in his own hands and go and see the famous friend personally. Again, not the smartest move according to me, but hey, knock yourselves out. Arrived on scene, several print-outs were put there, to 'prove' the innocence of the boyfriend and to show how bad I really am. One little detail, in these prints, there was a lot of copy and paste, but even more there were cuts. Email-threads were totally illogic and not chronically put together, so that I would seem the crazy one. Some people may be fooled by it, but not me. I've already got a bad reputation so I just can't win this battle and although I didn't deserve this one, I'm used to situations like this. So I did the only thing there was left to do, I blocked him and his girlfriend permanently from myspace, I blocked the crazy girls as well, I sent a text with the urging message to leave me alone for good. I can only hope it has finally come to an end, so I can close this unfortunate matter, take a deep breath and reboot...
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